Services
FREE Initial 20 minute phone consultation
Individual Consultation
(including various thriving assessments)
The purpose of this first session is to:
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Assess what the issue is and the impact that it is having on you
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Understand how and where you are stuck or struggling
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Understand your strengths, resources, values and goals
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Provide you with information and support to give you hope and inspire you to take some small action towards thriving or how you want to feel
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Give you something to take away from the session -(confidence, a self-care strategy, insight, a practical technique that will -support you, calm your mind, reduce stress, and anxiety, deal with uncomfortable feelings, improve mood, energy and wellbeing in some way)
I have experience in dealing with most issues related to being human; dealing with uncertainty, confusion, change, and stress through the ordinary and also traumatic life challenges.
My belief is that it is not only what happens to you that matters, but what you tell yourself about yourself, about the world, or about others as a result of what happened and what you do about it, that matters.
So, my focus is on understanding You, what matters to You, and how You are functioning across all aspects of your life physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, relationally, creatively, financially and practically
I will work with you to come up with a plan to address your situation because I believe that with support, information, attitude and action, most issues are solvable.
Whether you are
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struggling to make sense of an unexpected loss or change, dealing with a relationship conflict or break down
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struggling with an ethical dilemma or value conflict
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need clarity about something
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dealing with grief, or managing a life transition like
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a relationship change, fertility issues, retirement/aging or caring responsibilities, parenting
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managing uncomfortable feelings, worry, anger, frustration, disappointment, resentment, anxiety or depression
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engaged in addictive behaviors or other unhelpful coping strategies,
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stressed or feeling stuck in some way;
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Let me help you to shift from managing, getting on with it, coping, soldiering on or pushing through this … to Thriving
Psycho-education
Learn about the relationship between your body and brain, and how they can work together to help you deal with whatever problem you are facing.
Understand how you can harness and use this knowledge to settle your nervous system when you are stressed and anxious, or what to do when you feel depressed.
Did you know for example that some symptoms of stress are actually your brain’s and body’s natural response to try to keep you safe?
Learn how to recognize the signs of stress in your body even before you are consciously aware of them so that you can do simple things to stop stress escalating or reduce stress when you are aware of it.
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Learn about your internal fire alarm, the amygdala; and how it responds when it thinks you are in danger.
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Learn about its two design faults that might explain why you might “overreact” to some situations.
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Learn what sets it off, what to do when it does go off, including how to check if there’s a “fire” or not and how to reset it when its not working properly.
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Learn why uncertainty can be experienced as a threat, especially if you have a need for certainty, safety and security.
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Learn about your brain as pattern making machine and its negativity bias (why it pays attention to criticism more than compliments)
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Learn the three brain theory and why it matters to you.
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Learn the good and bad news about neuroplasticity and why you might not be able to think your way out of a feeling problem and vice versa
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Learn about emotions as states, and a 3 step process to shift from how you are feeling to how you want to feel.
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Learn about your Vagus Nerve and its role in brain/gut communication and how to trigger and utilize its relaxation pathway
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Learn why focusing on what you want is better than focusing on what you don’t want
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Learn how certain kinds of thinking impact negatively on your functioning and wellbeing and others will support it
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Learn how to work with your inner critic and and also hear and work with your inner wise person.
Monica is the ultimate unconventional therapist. From day 1 she treated me holistically. She explained that because trauma affects the whole you, body, mind and spirit , we need to heal in all those areas too. It was the first time that I had heard that, and with her guidance I started my journey from survivor to thriver
Su 51 - Systems Professional
Skills Training
I can teach you some simple evidence-based, stress reduction, grounding, self-soothing and relaxation techniques that will help to settle your nervous system.
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I will help you to find a way that works for you, based on your needs and the way you operate and learn best, and help you to develop a personal self care plan.
Most strategies I teach are simple, can be learned quickly, have no negative side effects and are effective, based on research in neuroscience, psychology or health. They will not only help you when you are stressed, but if you practice them for a few minutes each day, have been demonstrated to tone your energy system down and support your overall wellbeing.
Breathing techniques for stress reduction
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Learn why Take a deep breath in is not necessarily good advice if you are stressed and anxious
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Learn how to use your breath consciously to increase your wellbeing and trigger the relaxation response in your body
Meditation and mindfulness
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Learn the similarities and differences between these practices and how to use them even if you don’t have a lot of spare time.
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Learn how to meditate on your own, in a way that works for you.
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Learn how to use meditation when you really need it; when you are frustrated or upset, stuck in queue, or dealing with a difficult situation, for example.
Tapping
Tapping is a form of energy work based on acupuncture, without using needles!
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It is a simple, effective, stress reduction strategy that you can learn quickly.
It can be used whenever you feel upset or stressed, are worried about something happening in the future or you are finding it difficult to let go of something that happened in the past. It works with upsetting thoughts or images and uncomfortable feelings or bodily sensations.
It can also be used as an energy toning practice and to maintain emotional stability and regulation. A few minutes each day, while you are waiting for an appointment, walking, watching TV or standing in a queue can be a good wellbeing maintenance practice.
Tapping has been studied and found to reduce stress significantly; tapping for 5 minutes a day can reduce stress by 20%! It has provided significant benefits even in cases of severe trauma, has no known negative side effects, can be done without anyone knowing and can reduce stress and emotional distress quickly and effectively.
Heart practices for emotional regulation
One way to deal with difficult emotions is to use the wisdom of the heart.
I have been using and teaching ancient practices like the Buddhist Metta or Loving Kindness meditation for years and intuitively believe that focusing on emotions is just as important as focusing on thoughts when you are working with human distress, suffering and post traumatic growth.
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Learn how to sit with and engage with all emotions in a healthy way that promotes wellbeing and thriving
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Learn to make space for emotions, understand their function and purpose, and respond to them, especially so called negative emotions, neither by diving into them or ignoring them, but by approaching them in a neutral and curious way.
Most people who I have worked with who are stuck in some way have inevitably focused on how they Don’t want to feel instead of how they Do want to feel. Learn why this is counterproductive and can actually keep you stuck.
Learn alternative ways to respond to uncomfortable feelings respectfully, which helps them to move through you and maybe even be transformed to other more life affirming and positive states.
I have been following the contribution and work that the Heart Math Institute and its founder Doc Childre have made since 1991 in using the intelligence of the heart and developing scientifically based tools that reduce stress and increase resilience. In essence their research is dedicated to understanding coherence- a particular state where there is harmonious connectedness between all parts or aspects of your system. Their research has confirmed what ancient practices have long taught; that when we genuinely feel and experience certain emotions like care, compassion, love and gratitude we increase our own wellbeing. Conversely being stuck in other states like fear, anxiety and anger will lead to disharmony, disruption and incoherence at a cellular level.
Contrary to what most of us learned at school the communication between the brain and heart is not just one sided. The heart actually sends more signals to the brain than vice versa and these signals have a significant effect on brain function including attention, perception, memory and problem solving. Stress and negative emotions create an erratic and disordered heart rhythm pattern, which sends signals to the brain that inhibit our ability to think clearly, remember, and learn. The good news is that positive feelings have the opposite effect.
HRV (heart rate variability) is the naturally occurring beat- to-beat variation in the time between heart beats. Thoughts and emotions can change heart rhythm patterns. When both branches of our ANS autonomic nervous system; the sympathetic that accelerates heart rate and the parasympathetic Vagus that slow it down are working well together our HRV is greater. HRV is an important indictor of health and fitness and marker of biological aging- it is greatest when we are young and as we age the range of variability decreases. Breathing, exercise and even out thoughts influence HRV through our nervous system but heart math has shown that feelings and emotions also can have a significant impact. Frustration and appreciation produce different heart rhythm patterns. Appreciation, for example produces a smoother wave-like pattern to whereas frustration produces a more jagged and uneven pattern.
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Coherence is not the same as relaxation. Psychologically it is a calm, balanced, energised and responsive state.
Conflict Resolution
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Are you struggling with a relationship issue, with someone at work, a friend, family member, neighbour, lover, or even your own inner critic?
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Learn how to see conflict as an expression of unmet needs and how focusing on using your strengths and values to show up as the best version of yourself you can be regardless of what is going on around you, gives you the best chance of resolving disputes
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Learn what your strengths are, and how to use them to deal with your issue or problem
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Learn how and why it is important to prepare for having difficult conversations
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Learn how to speak your truth (gently) and why setting boundaries will increase your compassion and ability to see things from another perspective
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Learn why compromise is not as good as collaboration
Values clarification and alignment
Are you feeling lost, confused or stressed about which direction you should go in your life or maybe struggling to even have a direction?
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Would you like help to reconnect with a purpose and meaning in life?
When you making conscious decisions based on your authentic values, the things that are important to you, that define who you are and what you stand for, you are more likely to make good decisions. The problem is that often we make decisions on what we feel we should do, what others or society expect of us and when there is this lack of alignment we often feel some internal conflict or unease. It doesn’t have to be that way.
With good self awareness and emotional intelligence we can decide what values we choose to live our life by moving forward, no matter what has happened in the past, and regardless of what beliefs we have inherited from our family or past. It is not a matter of having to throw the baby out with the bathwater. A good value de-cluttering and clean up can bring renewed enthusiasm and energy as we recommit to living a purposeful and value aligned life. It is never too late to “turn over a new leaf” or have a new beginning. Each day is an opportunity to stand in our power and integrity.
We all have inherent values which are important to us. If we are thinking and acting in ways that are not aligned with our values or where we have a values conflict, this can result in stress and stuckness. Presenting problems often are symptoms of underlying value conflicts and unpacking and clarifying values can be the first step to reducing stress and anxiety. Investigating whether it is possible to find the AND in a situation means asking quality questions. For example How can I meet my need to be a good parent, and also spend the energy and time I need to grow my business or manage work demands?
I can help you to recognize and deal creatively with most value conflicts by understanding the underlying fears, needs and feeling goals and utilizing your innate strengths so that you are acting authentically, confidently and congruently.
Consulting – Thriving Coach
As someone who has successfully negotiated a number of different personal and professional pathways in my lifetime so far, some involving significant career and lifestyle changes, I feel I have something to offer you if you are in a similar situation and are feeling stuck.
Whether you
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have a personal or business project or idea that you are wanting to explore or work on
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have started a project and it’s not going according to plan,
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are blocked or stuck in relation to moving forward or are simply considering a significant career or personal change
I may be able to help you
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rediscover your passion, energy or motivation
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crystallise your vision and goals, particularly your feeling goals as they are often an underlying driver.
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get some traction, deal with blocks like procrastination, limiting beliefs, fears or value conflicts
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consider potential barriers and unintended consequences
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understand and use the thriving superpowers that will help you to move forward and deal with any challenges that come up.
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We all have a need for growth and contribution; to reach our potential and make a difference in the world. When you find the right way for you to creatively express your unique gifts to the world, you are more likely to be happy and experience a sense of fulfillment.
Sometimes we are not in jobs or situations which allow us to express our unique strengths or we are stuck in a situation what doesn’t allow us to act in line with our values or maybe we are following a life path which someone else decided for us, rather than one we consciously chose for ourselves.
If this is the case, examining whether what we are doing is the best fit for who we are with someone objective can help to clarify whether you are on the right path for you and if so, how to feel more inspired and if not what other options may be available, so that you can truly feel like you are living a fully engaged and fulfilling life, now, not some time in the future
I met Monica Romeo during a very difficult time in my life and she taught me some very helpful tools that have helped me become more resilient. I am very grateful for her support.
She has many important qualities that make her an excellent therapist. She is a good listener and makes you feel comfortable. She is empathetic and devoid of judgment. While she understands your fears and weaknesses, she is also skilful at noticing and helping you use and build on your strengths, to help you step out of your comfort zone and grow.
She instils confidence and optimism about the possibility for change.
Through my work with Monica, I have come to see that difficult times will still happen, but I now know what to do to make sure they don’t last long
Sofia 50 - Personal assistant